Tuesday, September 6, 2011

How to Join the Palin Nation

Update: What can I say? I tried to warn them. @AceOfSpadesHQ promptly breaks rule #1, proving himself an uneducated fool. Tsk, tsk, tsk. If only he had read my blog before deciding to spout off.

Tony Katz of PJTV has a great article out about the "Palin Nation". What is it? Here's a short introduction.

The other candidates may have the big dollar donors, the fancy suits, and the swanky Aspen fundraisers, but Sarah Palin has something much better. A virtual army, nay a horde, nay an entire nation of diehard supporters that would crawl miles over broken glass to get her elected (or more realistically, drive thousands of miles across the U.S. to see her speak at a rain drenched Iowa Tea Party rally). To the outsider, the novice, this far flung network may seem sinister. Where does this shadowy army hide out? How do they get the inside scoop when it comes to Palin? What are their mysterious plans to take over the world? Many an unwary reporter has been caught off guard by questions such as these. Well, citizens of the Palin nation reside all around you, at your work, in your church, at the grocery store, perhaps even in your own house! So should you make the leap and declare yourself a Palin initiate, how does one go about getting involved? Fortunately, it's not that hard. The following is a step by step outline of how to join.

1) Every beginner must first watch "The Undefeated". Should you ignore this essential step and seek to comment on Sarah Palin sans movie viewing, you will be laughed at and viewed as uneducated, because you do not understand the facts. Should someone approach you with the all too predictable "Sarah Palin is a quitter" excuse for why they support another candidate, you may be momentarily stunned, not knowing the details, or why it was the right move for Alaska and the nation. Having watched the movie, you will have the background necessary to begin your journey toward becoming an ordinary barbarian, or even a Palinista.

2) Palinistas congregate in super secret hideouts on the web and other places. Actually, they're really not so secret, and it's hilarious whenever the media messes up a Palin story when they could have easily gotten the inside scoop simply by visiting a website and reading the top story. Your next step will be to venture on over to www.conservatives4palin.com. This is Palin central. Every tidbit of Palin news, breaking scoops, strategy, and planning can be found there. Once you have familiarized yourself with the basic layout of the site (be sure to read up on Governor Palin's facebook posts and stances on the issues), you should introduce yourself in the comments. Like this this site, C4P uses Disqus, which makes commenting easy. You can either log in with a gmail, facebook, twitter, or yahoo account, or just comment anonymously. However, there is a super secret code language you must use in order to be accepted into the Palin community, and not summarily flagged as a troll. For reference, I'll post a sample here. You should just be able to cut and paste.

"Hi, I'm ____ and I'm new here. I've been following the governor for a while but it's my first time commenting. I'm really excited about supporting her!"

Prepare for an avalanche of well wishers and people eager to show you the ropes. Finally, should you be of the type, as am I, to wax poetic from time to time, you can even submit your own articles. If you're good enough, one might make the front page. And of course, if you want to reach the 9th level of Palin Nirvana, you can start your own Palin blog. Those trade secrets are a whole different subject, however. Perhaps I shall divulge them later once you have proven yourself to be a noble and trustworthy knight of the Palin round table. First stop, though, is the mother ship at C4P.

3) Internet not your thing? More into traditional campaign organizing? Or you just want to do more than pop off about things online? Organize4Palin (O4P) is for you. At the very minimum, in order to consider yourself a proper Palinista, you must sign up for the email updates. You can do so right here at www.organize4palin.com. From there, you can click on "states" and then "visit state blog" to find ours, or just go to www.co4palin.com. There is also a www.coloradans4palin.com as well. (I know, similar names, but I had already registered mine and, hey, I'm going to get my 20 bucks worth!)

4) Ok back to the internet, since you are, presumably, reading this on the internet. There are a plethora of other ways to stay in the loop as well. First, you must of course "like" Sarah Palin's page on facebook, although there's a good chance you already have, since a full 1%, or a little over 3 million people have already done so. From time to time, Palin posts important facebook notes outlining her policy positions. You can also follow her on twitter (she goes by @SarahPalinUSA), and you can follow her bus/plane tours, as well as donate to support them, at www.sarahpac.com. Here you'll find professional photos and notes from Palin about her travels. You can also follow this blog, @CO4PalinBlog, or the O4P state chapter, @CO4PalinUSA on twitter. You can join our state facebook group, Colorado 4 Palin, on facebook. As long as you look generally friendly and we are reasonably certain you are not a troll intending to cause mischief or a spy for another candidate, you'll be welcome there as well. And then there's Team Sarah, which I haven't quite got the hang of yet, but you can join at their website. Beyond that, there are hundreds of Palin blogs started by dedicated supporters. Many of these are affiliated with states; Texas, in particular, has quite a large Palin following, and is often a must read. You can find it at www.texansforsarahpalin.com (beware the spoofed sites). Really, the sky is the limit as to what you can do Palin-wise on the web. Commenting at other major conservative blogs is a favorite past time of Palinistas; in fact some of the people who started C4P broke away from other major websites like Redstate, whose continuing foibles we have documented here. Trust me, Palin is light years ahead of anyone else when it comes to social media.

5) Ok, so you've got the hang of the basics, and you want to do MORE! This woman must become PRESIDENT, NOW, you say. Ok, ok, we'll put you to work. There are plenty of other things you can do to volunteer. Host a showing of The Undefeated at your house. Sign up volunteers. Bring Palm cards to GOP events. Etc. Of course, as Palin isn't even an official candidate yet, we're still mustering the ammunition. And yes I did say ammunition, because when the left, including the President and Vice President, decides to make war on the "barbarians", "take out those sonofabitches", and create video games where people shoot Sarah Palin zombies, I have no qualms about using that particular metaphor. We expect the announcement to come in a few weeks, and we will be ready to fire when we see the whites of their eyes. There's a war for the heart and soul of the country in the making. Which side will you be on? Years from now, when you are telling your kids and grand kids the story of the 2012 election like we talk about the 1980 election today, will you have any regrets? I hope not.

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